fear and flying
I love art. I love creating. I think that’s obvious by now. I have types of art that I feel comfortable making and others I really want to try but won’t start. I remember writing something about this mindset, the fear of not being good enough. When do we lose our courage to try new things? What keeps us from rushing home to put our art, like a child, on the refrigerator? Fear.
Trying new things for many is difficult. Trying something that doesn’t have rules, a template, a clear outcome is terrifying. I have no desire to paint realistic images, children, or animals. Large abstract pieces are what I want to do next, but where do I start? Inside of me, I know that releasing myself into the canvas through the paint is what I need to do, but what if it’s unsightly?
I remember carving a lion stamp in middle school art out of an eraser. I’ve wanted to do that again for some time. I bought the supplies over a year ago, but it took me that long to get them out. The experience wasn’t hard, but the starting seemed impossible. How many situations in our life do we face that aren’t as difficult as we thought after we start?
I started with a butterfly. It turned out decent, and I like adding it to different pieces. What I didn’t anticipate; how satisfying it is to actually carve. I purchased double-sided linoleum sheet blocks. I’ve created a few leaf stamps that I really love. I’ve used acrylic ink to stamp and acrylic paint on Gelli plates with them.
I watch my daughter, three, try everything. Once she even threw herself off a footstool, I’m assuming thinking she could fly and did a face-planted, belly flop onto the floor. She was thankfully unscathed, and she was more cautious about her physical safety, but that didn’t damper her spirit of wonder. She reminds me of someone I used to be, unafraid to attempt what is new.
As I head into a holiday weekend I’m laying out projects that I want to try. One of them is to get out of my head and start an abstract. Fear can only be remedied by moving forward and trying. Now is the time for me to embrace the freedom I have to try all the things “as if I had wings".
